*** Don't start out the trip with your giant ass lead foot on the gas petal doing 88 in a 70. You will break your 31 year 'no tickets' record. Ultimately costing you 165.00 dollars. Chandler was totally enjoying it as he had never seen a cop up close and personal. Course Barney Fife ask me if I had any drugs, alcohol, or weapons in the car....I was all,"Um, I like to keep all those things at bay on my family vacation those are for girl weekends. Duh!
*** Be sure not to forget the tiny card that goes in your camera or you'll be pissing the hell off when your standing at the state sign to get your stupid tourist photo taken with a bazillion cars and trucks wizzing by when your camera says 'memory full'. Fuck the card was on my desk, luckily my Droid takes awesome photos.
*** Don't let your husband load the car while you are at work cause you will be 250 miles from home when it dawns on you that when you opened the trunk for the officer you didn't see your hang up clothes. I tapped Kenny on the shoulder and said very politely, 'Hon, what did you do with the blouses that were hanging on hangers next to the luggage?' Then he very kindly said, 'Oh I put those back in the closet." Omg, I had to resist the urge to not pull the car over and beat him to death with an empty wire hanger! I mean do me sideways! Are you kidding me! But on the upside I did get to purchase some cute new tops.
*** Never give your 12 year old a 300 dollar PSP cause at some point he is gonna not be paying attention and not see that he left it on a tile floor, then he is gonna step on it with his 132 pound ass cracking the plasma liquid inside. Oh yeah....I'm gonna kill him.
