Yeah, it took me over a year to remember my damn blogger password....just kidding. I've been busy with my two moms, my snarkey husband, and my still
growing man sized 14 year old son who thinks I'm made of money and that we can go shopping every single afternoon of our lives.
I'll start by saying that living with my two moms is gonna be the death of one of us. I'm not sure if it will be me or I will be killing one or both of them. All has gone fine since April, except for one tiny issue of Mimi leaving dishes in the sink at night. Nana is like the dishes police, okay? She will troll the house every hour or so looking for stray dishes....and then will stand there and talk to you about taking them and putting them in the dishwasher.
On one occasion she sat down in my office to complain about a bowl that was left on the ottoman in the Man Room. I was all, "It's the man room not the kitchen. Omg, please stop trolling the house for dishes!" Um, she then announced that she didn't know why I was so mad cause she didn't even bring the stray bowl on the ottoman up.
I was all, "Can anyone else hear this conversation? Cause I wouldn't have told on myself for leaving a bowl in the man room." At that point, Nana who had just taken some pain meds for her back announces that, "I don't have to stay here and listen to this. I'm out of here." Okay, so she got her keys and her cane, got in the car and drove off. I assumed to just cool down and go to her cousins house to complain about the nasty dishes family that she lives with.
Five hours goes by, I'm scrap booking and minding my own business when my 30 year old nephew runs in the room screaming, "Why is she not back?! Where could she be? It's getting dark outside! Call her cousins!" He called all the cousins and no one had seen her.
At that point my mind took off with me, she is laying in a pain killer induced coma in a ditch somewhere and no one can see her or the car or she has killed an innocent family and is now sitting in jail for old people....I mean it just took off from there some of it involved the hospital and creepy small corn children.
Right at dark, I realized that she can't see to drive at night, so I broke down and called the police. Yep, here they came in about 5 minutes. Dude was 3 feet tall all walking up in my driveway asking if she runs away often. Um, dude she is 67, not 17. So we stand there and talk for about 10 minutes when here she comes down the road and pulls in the driveway and looks all innocent while saying, "Is there a problem officer?' I swear he had to hold me back from throat punching her.....he looked at me and said, "Do you need to leave until you calm down?"
No, I just went inside and went to bed. I literally could not speak at that point and that never happens to me. Sorry got completely off course.....
So moral to this story is, if you dirty a dish between the hours of 8 pm and 7 am......DO NOT LEAVE IT IN THE DAMN SINK for Nana to clean up in the morning! Put that shit in the dishwasher that is located right next to it.
Speaking of water, there must be something in the water around here cause two of my brothers are getting divorces this year. One sister in law I'm gonna miss terribly as I really love her like a sister and the other.....errrr, just chalk it up to lesson learned. I'll keep you posted people....
